Love is a beautiful feeling. When you meet someone who makes you feel like time has stopped, all you want to do is spend every waking moment with them. But relationships are not all sunshine and roses. If you’re not well versed in the art of overcoming barriers, you may find yourself breaking up over something that seems trivial in retrospect.
Here’s a list of common relationship barriers, as well as ways to overcome them.
Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
Even the healthiest relationships have their fair share of arguments. Anyone who's been in a relationship will tell you that resolving a conflict peacefully is not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes you may think you've worked through an issue, only to find out there's still some unresolved emotions on your partner's side.
If you and your partner's fights always turn nuclear, remind yourself of one thing. Whenever you're arguing, it's not you versus your partner, but you and your partner versus the problem. Don't allow your emotions to make you work against your each other. Words can't be unsaid, so be careful not to say anything when emotions are running high.
There's a reason effective communication is often cited as the foundation of a healthy relationship. Misunderstandings are bound to happen if you don't get your point across clearly, which eventually leads to unnecessary arguments. Whenever you're talking to your partner, it's important to go back to the basics of communication. Be mindful of the following:
- Tone of voice
- Word choice
- Your partner's point of view
Also remember that no likes to be accused, even when the statements you're making are partially true. Try to use statements such as "I feel like sometimes...", and don't forget to say "we" instead of "you" and "I". For example, instead of saying, "Hey, babe, sometimes your breath isn't 100% fresh," rather say something like, "Babe, I think we should work on always having fresh breath. Who knows when we'll have to speak to someone important?"
Erecting Emotional Walls
If you've been in more than one relationship, it's possible that you have a complicated emotional history. Because of that pain, maybe you've built walls to prevent yourself from experiencing that pain again. The problem with walls is that they also drive away or hurt the people who care about you the most. They also make it impossible for there to be any vulnerability, an important part of a healthy relationship.
People with emotional barriers tend to be detached and defensive, making it hard for them to form a deep connection with their partner. If you want to bring down the walls you've put up, you can start by acknowledging your pain. The next step is to free yourself from the shackles of the past so you can build a future with your partner. Your experiences may shape who you are, but don't allow yourself to be held emotionally hostage by the past.